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When taking care of you means… LOVE ME!

When taking care of you means… LOVE ME!

“I’ll save you, my love!”. This is the sense of omnipotence common to those women who take care of partner at any cost, even if he didn’t ask any help. Women who are trying to meet every single need and desire of their men, driven by a sort of “spirit of sacrifice”, expressed in terms of abnegation and complete dedication to the beloved. Apparently this is pure generosity … but what lies behind so many loving attention?

Complex dynamics and psychic mechanisms are on the basis of excessive altruism which sometimes takes the form of masochism.

Troubled Relationships: simple coincidence?

He is so charming, an amorous man but elusive too, passionate but complicated. This is the classic stereotype of a seducer who is constantly swarmed by harems of adoring females. We are talking about women enamored by the vain hope of being able to win the heart of those who don’t really want bonds of any kind. This is the beginning of a very complicated love affair, full of twists and turns, almost romantic, intriguing, however, all things considered demeaning and painful.

Some women always tend to choose mates to look after, perhaps with psychological difficulties or suffering from other disorders. The intention is to be able to save the beloved, at any cost, even if they have to completely eliminate their own needs and desires.

What to expect when he will heal? Usually the relationships of this type are intended to be interrupted as soon as they fail the initial assumptions of care. In other words, when the partner has no desire of being treated as a dependent child and claimed his status as an adult, the rescuer loses her helping role and the relationship is over.

cuore tristeThe incessant need to help others could also be interpreted as the sublimation of unconscious desire to heal a part of your wounded self. This happens especially if you grew up in a difficult family situations, such as having to deal with someone else, instead of with your childhood. This scenario will be seeking into adult life where, once again, you set aside your own needs to completely dedicate yourself to someone else.

The emotional dependency and low self-esteem are often present when you always chase troubled relationships, perhaps settling for crumbs of love. The great illusion is that one day you can win what you feel unattainable, such as emotional compensation for what has been denied to you in childhood. True love is something else!

Recognizing and attending to your needs is the first step to create and maintain a healthy relationship and authentic love into your life. I’m not saying it‘s easy, but it’s absolutely possible!

 

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